My Grandmother Campbell was very much a lady. As a child, I found this amusing: Brooke and I would giggle to observe her eating french fries with a fork, then delicately dabbing the corners of her mouth with a napkin. At home, we mostly made our own meals and ate wherever we wanted. We stood in the kitchen, sat on the couch watching Brady Bunch reruns, or even skulked off to our rooms with food on occasion, if we felt like hiding out. At Grandma and Grandpa's, it was dinner at the table, napkins on laps, and "may I please be excused?"

There were cocktails every night when Grandpa was still alive. I forget what time (4:30? 5:00?), but Grandpa would pour drinks for Grandma and himself and some 7-up for Brooke and I. To this day, the smell of 7-up reminds me of my grandpa, especially if it's in a glass with ice tinkling against the sides.

It wasn't until my grandma died last week that I was able to see another side of her. Old photos showed what looked to be a brilliant summer in Miami, 1944. She was 23, and my grandmother and her friends looked ready to take on the world (in their two-piece bating suits, no less!). Another photo, years later, showed her and my grandpa dressed up like hobos for a party hosted by their dance club. It's the silly side of grandma she didn't let her grandkids see, and I'm really happy to know it existed. Her friends called her M.J. or Janie or Jane. When I knew her, she was always Mary Jane to other grown ups, unless she was referred to as Mrs. Robert Campbell -- this is what the society pages called her. It still surprises me that a relative of mine was actually in the society pages.

The things I will miss are too numerous to count. She had a way of saying, "Oh!" when she opened a present or you did something that pleased her. She was masterful with hospital corners. When I was a kid, I was such a slow eater that everyone would be finished with their meals far before me. I'd stay at the table to finish my meal while my grandmother did the washing up. When she was done doing the dishes, she'd pour herself some coffee, light a cigarette, and sit with me while I ate dessert. It was usually vanilla ice cream with strawberries, although sometimes she'd share her See's candy with us. She was mad about See's candy. She read voraciously. At the age of 80, she told me that when she got old enough to be called eccentric, she was going to start knocking off people's baseball caps in restaurants with the tip of her umbrella.

But these are just a few things about my grandmother, and of course there's so much more. There's no way to capture in words (especially in a blog post) who she was or what she meant. She, like most humans I suppose, was many things to many people, and I'm just one of them.

Rest in peace, Grandma. I miss you.

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Mug shots

The DMV sent me a letter to warn that my license is due to expire and I have to go get a new one. This means a new photograph. My initial idea was to go to one of those places in the mall that does glamour shots and then go straight to the DMV from there. I may still do that if I can't come up with anything better. What would you do?

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First of all, I apologize for not wishing you a Happy Free Beef month this year. February went so fast!

Secondly, it's time for the annual posting of my favorite spring poem. The cherry trees are in bloom, the weather is gorgeous, and my alergies are kicking in. Spring!

sweet springtime is my time is your time is our time
for springtime
is love time
and viva sweet love.

-ee cummings

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Alan Alda has one of the best jobs ever. I caught an episode of Scientific American Frontiers the other day, and was really interested in the segment about implicit biases that we all hold.

There's a study called Project Implicit designed to test these biases, or implicit associations. They have a series of tests where you very quickly -- speed is the key -- associate words or images with their categories (e.g., a picture of an old face goes with the word "Old", the word "agony" goes with the word "bad").

One of the women on the show was a professor at Harvard. Despite the fact that she was involved with the creation of the tests and is successful in her career, the Gender-Career test shows that she strongly associates men with careers and women with families. They did make a point of noting that the tests are designed to show the biases that are deeply rooted within you, but that they're not indicative of how you behave in every day life. For instance, when I took the Age IAT, it showed that I have negative "old age" connotations. However, the reality is that I rarely kick old people or hide their dentures.

Anyhow, I found it interesting. If you'll permit me to jump topics a bit (as if you have a choice): the other job I want is that of the MythBusters. I mean, if you have to have a job, you may as well get to blow stuff up.

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I've seen some incredibly bad driving lately. Some of it has been my own, but my beef is not with me. It's with the three people in the last two days who have misunderstood the rule about turning red on a red light. I'd like to clear this up:

The law states that you can turn right on a red light in Oregon.

The law does not state that you are required to turn right on a red light in Oregon.

Do you see the difference there?

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Weekend statistics:

• Hours spent driving: 16
• Visits to the hospital to see my grandmother: 1
• Tattoos visible on my cousin's arms: 6 (if you count the vines, writing, and flames separately)
• Tattoos she has that I couldn't see: unknown
• People I went to high school with who were at Michele's birthday party: 5
• Good friends from high school who were present and will turn 30 before me: 2 (ha ha)
• Safeway Club Card discount on Ketel One vodka: $5
• Drinks consumed with discounted Ketel One vodka: 4(?)
• Life's mysteries solved while traversing I-5: 0
• Programming problems at work figured out: 1
• Semis passed on Siskiyou Pass (Northbound, Sunday): 24
• Number of times I've complained about how much my butt hurts from all that sitting: 22

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