For some reason, I like the idea of people arguing over what time it is. (Am reading about the history of Daylight Saving Time.)

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I have iTunes money to play with. Any recommendations?

Oh oh! And go see Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind before anybody tells you anything about it. SO GOOD. I know, it's weird because Jim Carrey's in it and I hate Jim Carrey. Really, he bugs the *&#$ *&#$&&# out of me. I would like to punch him in the nose. Only now, after a nose punch, I'd probably tell him that Eternal Sunshine totally ruled.

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I'm not sure how to follow up the post on shorts. It fostered so many interesting comments that anything I say now will, inevitably, seem boring by comparison. So I'll merely offer up my traditional spring poem, one of my favorites:

sweet springtime is my time is your time is our time
for springtime
is love time
and viva sweet love.

-ee cummings

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With fake spring in full swing, a few of my male friends have mentioned recently that guys can't look cool in shorts. Also, at lease one male friend has lamented that the only tank tops men can wear without looking super lame are wifebeaters, but his girlfriend hates those, as do the rest of the women he polled.

I can't think of a good tank top solution, but I think longish shorts are fine on men. Short shorts are another story entirely, and unless you're actively engaged in a sport that more or less requires them, Spandex are a huge no-no. But that's just me.

So, I put it to you: can guys wear shorts and/or tank tops without looking stupid? Please be descriptive.

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If it's any consolation, Ilan, I laughed more at the Supermodel Personals than I did at your green shirt story.

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A disjointed story involving the etymology of two words and some palindromes

Several of my friends use the word "foo" when they're disappointed or expressing distaste or when something bad happens.

"Ow, I just hit my head on my car door again," I'll say.

"Foo," is the inevitable reply. It is usually delivered with a furrowed brow and sympathetic look.

Because of this, the word is slowly weaseling its way into my lexicon. I realized the other day that oof and foo are opposites and might lend themselves well to a palindrome. They did, and I sent it off to my friend Howdy as the subject line of an email:

"oof!" was all. ella saw. foo.

He replied with two palindromes of his own:

loofa was all ebb. bella saw a fool.
nip to the loo, fred? no. yonder fool, eh? tot pin.

In the email, Howdy linked to the dictionary.com explanation of the word "foo", which explains more about the word than I ever would have expected or hoped to find there. It's been used in the military, comic books, and (my favorite) in the Dictionary of the TMRC Language, which defines it as "The first syllable of the sacred chant phrase 'FOO MANE PADME HUM.' Our first obligation is to keep the foo counters turning." There's a handy bit of Latin Hindi for you.

So then, I was talking to Cody and he mentioned that the word "teen" was used in a work of Shakespeare's to mean "grief." This could not, he supposed, be a coincidence. I concurred. Off flew an email to Sarge asking what the OED has to say about it. He obliged because he is nice. You can read the full text out at Cody's site -- it's fascinating stuff. The word goes back to 971 A.D., and was used very negatively in the beginning. Words that show up in the various definitions are rather less than positive: vex, anger, damage, rage, affliction, grief, wrath, pain. What a glorious word!

I'd always thought that the word "teen" derived from "tween" to describe the years between childhood and adulthood, but now I'm not so sure. Surely there must be something to the connection, given that the teen years are well suited to vexation, anger, damage, rage, affliction, grief, wrath and pain.

In conclusion, words are neat.

The end.

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Funny. Hamburger Helpless: entries submitted for a contest to win full ownership of the Sno-White Drive-In in Antioch, CA.

Also, I've discovered some neat things to do with Google.

1. Use it as a calculator. Seriously, go to Google and type in some kind of equation, like "165580560200131 / 123456789". It will do the division and give you an answer.
2. Look up a word. In the search box, precede the word you want to look up with "define:". For instance, if you type in "define:hegemony" Google will look up definitions on the web for the word "hegemony". Of course, the definitions aren't always as accurate as those out at m-w.com, but it's still kind of neat.
3. Track UPS packages. I just read this on Tracy's blog. I've never tried it, but apparently you can type in a UPS tracking number and Google will give you a link to UPS's tracking page.

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Hurrah! I'm so proud of Multnomah County's commissioners for determining that it is against the Oregon State Constitution to deny gay couples the right to marry.

Really, if people want to express their love and commitment to one another and they're crazy enough to get married, who are we to stop them? Also, opponents always rely on the bible for their argument against gay marriages which is in violation of the whole "separation of church and state" ideal this country is so fond of. That annoys me. Anyhow, there are thousands of arguments for the legalization of homosexual marriages and I'd spew them all at you if I thought it would make even one person more tolerant. But chances are, you either agree with me on this issue or you're pig-headed and we wouldn't get along well anyhow. So, suffice to say that I'm happy about this. Very happy indeed.

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Moral dilemma:

In the parking lot at work, the spaces are a bit narrow. There are several huge SUVs and trucks that like to park there, but, of course, they take up more than one space. They mostly do this because they insist on backing in and they are terribly unskilled.

One of the worst offenders drives a Dodge Dakota truck. I once left a note for Mr. Awfulparker suggesting that it's not difficult to park inside the lines. Because he does this every day. If it were every once in awhile, I don't suppose it would irritate me so much. As it is, it totally, totally pisses me off. It pisses off my co-workers. It pisses off the dizzy ladies in the office next door. I can only assume it pisses off other people in our building (several of whom, I suspect, only rent space here as a front for their money laundering schemes).

Anyhow, here's the dilemma: today, I pulled in and Mr. Awfulparker's lights were on. Do I tell him?

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Neat things to do with your eyes:

Make a hole in your hand. I was under the impression that everybody did this in grade school, but it turns out that's not the case. So. Here's what you do:

1. Take a piece of paper and roll it up like you're going to hit someone with it. The hole in the middle should be about the size of a half-dollar.
2. Put one end of the paper up to your left eye like it's a kaleidoscope.
3. With both eyes open, put your right hand next to the rolled-up paper, in front of your right eye. It should look like you're peeking through a hole in your hand. If it doesn't, try moving your hand closer to or farther away from your face.

Take a picture with your eyeball. This one's way cooler. I learned it in Mr. Knight's class in 9th grade.

1. Turn off all the lights, and try to be in as dark a room as possible (but one where you can easily get outside without opening your eyes).
2. Cover your eyes completely with your hands or your arm (or anything, really) for about five minutes. Make sure no light gets to your eyes. NONE. I mean it.
3. Seriously, no light. Stop screwing around.
4. When you're sure that your eyes have been completely deprived of light for at least five minutes, make your way outside with your eyes still covered. Once you get outside, uncover your eyes and open them for just long enough to focus on something and then cover them up again.

When you cover your eyes up again, you should notice that you can still see whatever you were just looking at. Sometimes, it will become even more clear after you close your eyes again. Then, it should fade out so it looks like a negative of what you saw. I usually get shades of purple in there, as well.

What happens (according to my very pedestrian understanding) is that when your eyes are not exposed to light, a chemical called rhodopsin builds up on them. This chemical changes when exposed to light. So, if you build up a bunch of rhodopsin, then expose it briefly to light, it will change where light hits it, thereby creating the picture. Basically, it works exactly the way a film negative works. Neat!

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